[WIWIK Series] What I Wish I Knew…. About Others’ Approval

I have spent so much of my life trying to please everybody, consciously and unconsciously.
I saw my worth in their eyes, I found my worth in their attention.

This led me to crave for approval and attention, to get into relationships where my light was dimmed, to sell myself short, to overgive and resent.

Ugh, this hurts. Again, giving my power away to what I cannot control.

Can you relate?

Here is the reframe that helped me shift this pattern and gain my power back:

What is the impact that you have on whether other people are worthy of happiness, love, success? Do you have any power over it?

If you don’t like someone, or you don’t approve of their point of view or actions, or you don’t understand the context and decisions they have made so far in their lives..

Are you taking away from their worth? Is that for you to judge?

I guess not.

So what is the impact that others have on YOUR own worth and value in this world?

Guess what: N-O-N-E

Whatever they do/say/think…it’s none of your business.

You are worthy of what YOU put your mind to. It’s not for others to decide. This is YOUR JOB.

Opinions or comments that are not yours, good or bad, are still just someone else’s opinion. It holds no power over you unless you allow it to.

Here is my invitation:

Bring back the power to you.
Love yourself first.
Practice compassion, resilience and focus.
Nurture your inner cheerleader and your strengths.
Align your actions with your goals and ambitions every day. #powerofchoice
Put boundaries in place that allow you to live up to the standards you deserve.
Let your kindness for others come from a place of wholeness and peace, instead of a need for approval.

When you practice these skills and get better at it, what others think become optional. The more you live your truth, the less you allow others to dictate it. You are the solution.



Do you know somebody who could use this today? Share the love!


What is WIWIK?

Introducing the WIWIK series: What I Wish I Knew

A series of short articles demystifying many of the misconceptions about what your personal development journey should look like and what is truly possible for you.

In a world where people mostly only talk about their success – let’s talk about the process.

Find all the WIWIK articles HERE.


  1. Andrea

    “Love yourself first.
    Practice compassion, resilience and focus.”

    What are some ways that work for doing this?
    I am INTP. I am baffled by the recommendation.
    I can manage resilience and focus. A matter of self-training before anything goes pear-shaped.

    ‘Love yourself’.
    If the answer is ‘within’ – I have no idea either what to look for, how to look for – or where?

    Might you make a blog post on this sometime?

    1. Netolla

      Hello Andrea! Thank you for your input and blog suggestion! If I can help with a more specific question, please feel free to drop me a line!

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