5 steps to stretch your permission muscle
When do you say ”I can’t ” ?
One way of being more aware of your daily decisions and the permission you give yourself is to notice in which forms it comes up.
We will rarely say “I don’t give myself permission“. Or “I decide that …”
But we will say (internally or externally) words like:
“I can’t.“
“This is not for me.”
“This wouldn’t be reasonable.”
“I don’t know.”
“I wish I could…”
The above are decisions or opinions, not facts.
If this is triggering to you, keep reading.
Here is a challenge:
Step 1 – Identify your no-no statements
Think of something you have wanted to do in your life but has always seemed impossible (even though the opportunity has passed, or it still seems impossible).
Think of something you have wanted to do in your life but has always seemed impossible (even though the opportunity has passed, or it still seems impossible).
What made it not possible?
Notice which words you use when you make decisions that are limiting you. You can also notice where you feel it in your body.
What comes up for you?
What words to do hear?
Which sensations to you feel?
What words to do hear?
Which sensations to you feel?
Step 2 – Challenge those statements
Let’s find the opposite of those statements.
Let’s find the opposite of those statements.
I can’t becomes I can.
This is not for me becomes I can make this work.
I don’t know becomes Without any restrictions, I would choose…
I wish I could… becomes What I can do to make this work is…
This is not for me becomes I can make this work.
I don’t know becomes Without any restrictions, I would choose…
I wish I could… becomes What I can do to make this work is…
Step 3 – Go deeper
Whatever is the new statement, add because at the end and write down every single thing that goes through your head. Find at least 3. Even if it is as simple as: because I want it.
Whatever is the new statement, add because at the end and write down every single thing that goes through your head. Find at least 3. Even if it is as simple as: because I want it.
Play a little bit here. Dig deep. What are the reasons for which this is actually possible for you?
The idea here is to focus ONLY on the reasons why you can. No ‘objection’ allowed here. Keep them away.
I can because:
I can make this work because:
Without any restrictions, I would choose XXX because:
What I can do to make this work is XXX because:
I can make this work because:
Without any restrictions, I would choose XXX because:
What I can do to make this work is XXX because:
Step 4 – Notice the difference
When you think of that thing that is impossible to you, what’s holding you back now?
When you think of that thing that is impossible to you, what’s holding you back now?
Now that you have the reasons why you can’t and the reasons why you can, what’s in the way of deciding that you can?
Notice what’s coming up. Is it a decision? Are you allowing yourself to consider it?
Step 5 – What would be your first action step?
What’s one stretch you commit to in order to start gathering proofs that this is possible for you?
What’s one thing you can do to allow yourself to open up to this possibility?
What’s one stretch you commit to in order to start gathering proofs that this is possible for you?
What’s one thing you can do to allow yourself to open up to this possibility?
I can help you with that – let’s find what is truly holding you back and lay down the next steps for you!
If you have resistance to confront those feelings, or to open up to somebody – go through the above steps again, this time about this resistance. What are the reasons for which NOW is YOUR time to come forward and get support to step into your power?
What could become possible for you if ”I can’t” became ”I CAN”?
Geneviève Pépin
Coach for the ambitious woman
It’s never too late to be who you’re meant to be.
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